As of yesterday I have a three month old. 'Bout time I told his birth story (and get his newborn photos posted...). Some of you knew we were planning a home birth. The majority of you might have thought we were crazy and then when it hit the fan and we ended up at the hospital might have thought something along the lines of, "I just knew they shouldn't have done a hippie home birth..." But not so. For those of you who want to know what went down, this is our story.
So, here we go, complete with a couple of pictures, some of which {all of which} I look gigantic in ;) They are beautiful, and were done by the oh-so-fabulous Sara Dragman, whom I cannot praise highly enough.
If you're still reading, yes, Treble was born at home. All 9 pounds, 12 ounces of him.
As soon as we found out we were pregnant we knew we wanted a home birth. My labor with Silver was calm and perfect until I was ready to push, then we left our house and things just got crazy at the hospital. I was out of my comfort zone, the on call doctor was mean, and so then my body shut down for quite a bit. With Treb, we knew we wanted to be at home for the entire birth process, and I knew immediately who I wanted my midwife to be. I had met her years before, when I did my doula training, and had a professional "crush" on her, if you will. She was so knowledgable about all things birth, so calm and quick thinking, had all kinds of certifications and had midwifed at hundreds of births across the world... I wanted her knowledge. I wanted her calmness. I wanted her quick thinking. I wanted to be her someday... We went ahead and "interviewed" Susan, but I already knew she was the one, because she is the absolute very best at what she does.
We of course did our research before deciding to birth at home. As with any and all things health related we research, compare statistics and make informed choices. Birth is normal. Birth at home is normal. And to us, birth is not a medical emergency (in low risk cases, as I was), but rather, birth is a natural, biological process. We chose to birth at home for lots of reasons, including to avoid unnecessary complications and interventions.
We aren't commune living hippies (though I certainly wouldn't turn down the opportunity ;) We are the Rhi-Jays you know and love, just everyday people who made an educated decision about the best way to birth our baby boy. Certainly not right for everyone, but right for us.
So we planned our birth at home. Homebirth is not about just "winging" it and hoping for the best. We didn't have someone waving around an incense stick and praying while wearing a tinfoil hat. We had a highly educated, trained and certified, very experienced, and wonderful team in place - a doula, Kristen (who is actually midwife certified as well), an assistant midwife, Elizabeth, and my midwife, Susan. All of which are the very best equipped people, whom I am grateful for every time I gaze upon my sweet boy's face.
During my pregnancy there was a ton of prep on prenatal health and nutrition - you cannot have a homebirth if you are high risk, so I had to stay healthy, and make sure I stayed low risk. I passed my gestational diabetes test with flying colors, gained the same amount of weight that I gained with Silver, measured right on track each week, and at the end of my pregnancy, Treb was head down and facing the best direction. We were set up for complete success. And if we hadn't been, the plans might have changed. We have/had no problem seeking help for things outside of the realm of "normal" which is how/why we ended up at the hospital for 8 days (more on that later). Safety isn't optional, nor will it ever be.
I went into early labor on the evening of Monday, November 2, but was in complete denial (I went into labor with Silver in the middle of the night, so it had to be the same again, right?! ;). We had dinner plans at Pie 5 with our best friends! I wasn't gonna miss out on that. ;) Went to bed that evening (after giving the midwives and birth photographer a heads up something might be happening) and I was up a good chunk of the night with some pretty serious contractions. Around 4 am I told T.J. he probably shouldn't go to the gym because I couldn't rest through the contractions anymore. Around 5:30 I texted our birth team because contractions were five minutes apart and my bloody show was happening. They all arrived around 6:30 that morning, and Silver left to spend the day with grandma.
I love this image that Sara captured - a little piece of my mama was there with me, and, "there's no place like home," just perfect :)
During labor my vitals were monitored to make sure Treb and I were both safe and healthy.
We had a beautiful labor and everything was exactly as I wanted - quiet music (a mix of Iron and Wine and the Piano Brothers on Pandora), natural light, time spent outdoors (the weather was amazing), protein pancakes and labor-aid to drink, essential oils diffusing, all while surrounded by the most wonderful support team - everything was perfect.
Working through some contractions and trying to get Treb to come down...
T.J. and Kristen were wonderful supports to me!
This picture is one of my favorites - T.J. did not leave my side while I was in the shower, staying close by to give me my labor aid / smart water.
Around 10am I was fully dilated and rested for a bit. Just like with Silver, my water did not break until I was pushing, and the fluid got all over my poor, sweet Susan. Just like it got the nurse with Silver...! And look, she's still smiling ;)
Working hard here - Treble is almost earthside!!!
Funny note: At one point I was like Susan, whatever you're doing, that's hurting me! And she was like, "I'm not doing anything - that's his head!" Ha! ;)
Everything was on track until Treb's head came out, and this is where our trouble began - the rest of his body did not follow. He had shoulder dystocia, meaning his shoulder was stuck on my pelvic bone. This friends, was just random bad luck. It could have happened anywhere, it could have happened to anyone. There was a .6-1.4% chance of this occurring in babies from 5 pounds to 8 pounds, 13 ounces. And then the risk goes up to around 5 to 9% for babies up to 9 pounds, 14 ounces (This was a great article for me - here, from the AAFP).
While shoulder dystocia can be more "expected" in certain situations, let it known we did not have any of the risks found here.
While shoulder dystocia can be more "expected" in certain situations, let it known we did not have any of the risks found here.
A pregnant woman may be at risk for shoulder dystocia if:
- Her baby is very large. (But in most cases of shoulder dystocia, the baby's weight is normal. And for most very large babies, shoulder dystocia doesn't occur.)
- She has diabetes.
- She is pregnant with more than one baby.
- She is obese.
- She gives birth after the baby's due date. (I was exactly 40 weeks, to the day)
- She had a very large baby or a shoulder dystocia in the past.
- Her labor is induced.
- She gets an epidural to help with pain during labor. An epidural is pain medicine you get through a tube in your lower back that helps number your lower body during labor.
- She has an operative vaginal birth. This means that her provider uses tools, like forceps or a vacuum, to help the baby through the birth canal.
I did not have any of those risks/things, it is something that just happened. Something that unfortunately happened and of which I am still processing.
While Treb was "stuck" I had to rotate and move into several different positions until my birth team was able to get him dislodged (on hands and knees). And in those moments, I am so grateful I was in my bed, with my team. Because if I had been in a tiny hospital bed, I couldn't have maneuvered as quickly. And if I had been hooked up to an epidural, I couldn't have maneuvered near as quickly (if at all?). And if I hadn't had the very best team instructing me and helping us... I just don't know. This was certainly a "time is of the essence" kind of situation.
Also, for the record, in case you are wondering, because I did - if I had been at the hospital, the odds of me ending up in a c-section once Treble's head was out, while possible, would not have been likely, as it is extremely high risk and he could have died or been severely injured.
The moments that followed are likely as they would have gone down in the hospital.
When Treb arrived earthside (4.5 minutes later at 11:05am - not much longer than it might have been had he not been "stuck"), he wasn't breathing. He was still attached to the umbilical cord, but was not receiving full oxygen on his own. He was blue. It was scary and awful, as I'm sure you can imagine. But, before he was even out, my midwife had ordered for an ambulance to be called, just in case, because she is a responsible, knowledgeable, wonderful woman of action. Treb was given CPR, bagged, and put on oxygen, because my team was prepared with everything (and fully trained), "just in case" (I was also put on oxygen at one point - see pictures).
Treble began to breathe on his own before the paramedics arrived and he was taken to the hospital, to be checked out and observed. At the hospital we were originally given the "okay" that he was fine and all was well, but then another one of the doctors thought Treb was possibly having a seizure, because he was smacking his lips (this, we now know, is something he occasionally does when he is hungry and more than ready to be latched on), but, that is another story entirely, to be told on another day.
So. There you have it. We had our sweet little guy at home, with a team of certified, knowledgeable, responsible women. And decided to share this because we didn't want to give homebirth a bad rap - we just had a bit of a hiccup with some unfortunate luck. If you have a team of qualified people and are low risk, it is a great option. If we were to have another child, we would likely do it at home again. It is the safest choice for us, because we trust our birth team and know we would be transferred should the situation require it.
"We have a secret in our culture... and it’s not that birth is painful. It’s that women are strong."
-Laura Stavoe Harm
