The Birth of Treble Kei Abla - 11.3.15

I haven't written anything in a long time...  When my mom died, I guess this blog did too.  But, maybe it might make a comeback, because come to find out, the writing of things is good for my soul.

As of yesterday I have a three month old.  'Bout time I told his birth story (and get his newborn photos posted...).  Some of you knew we were planning a home birth.  The majority of you might have thought we were crazy and then when it hit the fan and we ended up at the hospital might have thought something along the lines of, "I just knew they shouldn't have done a hippie home birth..."  But not so.  For those of you who want to know what went down, this is our story. 

So, here we go, complete with a couple of pictures, some of which {all of which} I look gigantic in ;)  They are beautiful, and were done by the oh-so-fabulous Sara Dragman, whom I cannot praise highly enough.  

If you're still reading, yes, Treble was born at home.  All 9 pounds, 12 ounces of him.  

As soon as we found out we were pregnant we knew we wanted a home birth.  My labor with Silver was calm and perfect until I was ready to push, then we left our house and things just got crazy at the hospital.  I was out of my comfort zone, the on call doctor was mean, and so then my body shut down for quite a bit.  With Treb, we knew we wanted to be at home for the entire birth process, and I knew immediately who I wanted my midwife to be.  I had met her years before, when I did my doula training, and had a professional "crush" on her, if you will.  She was so knowledgable about all things birth, so calm and quick thinking, had all kinds of certifications and had midwifed at hundreds of births across the world... I wanted her knowledge.  I wanted her calmness.  I wanted her quick thinking.  I wanted to be her someday...  We went ahead and "interviewed" Susan, but I already knew she was the one, because she is the absolute very best at what she does.

We of course did our research before deciding to birth at home.  As with any and all things health related we research, compare statistics and make informed choices.  Birth is normal.  Birth at home is normal.  And to us, birth is not a medical emergency (in low risk cases, as I was), but rather, birth is a natural, biological process.  We chose to birth at home for lots of reasons, including to avoid unnecessary complications and interventions.

We aren't commune living hippies (though I certainly wouldn't turn down the opportunity ;)  We are the Rhi-Jays you know and love, just everyday people who made an educated decision about the best way to birth our baby boy.  Certainly not right for everyone, but right for us.  

So we planned our birth at home.  Homebirth is not about just "winging" it and hoping for the best.  We didn't have someone waving around an incense stick and praying while wearing a tinfoil hat.  We had a highly educated, trained and certified, very experienced, and wonderful team in place - a doula, Kristen (who is actually midwife certified as well), an assistant midwife, Elizabeth, and my midwife, Susan.  All of which are the very best equipped people, whom I am grateful for every time I gaze upon my sweet boy's face.

During my pregnancy there was a ton of prep on prenatal health and nutrition - you cannot have a homebirth if you are high risk, so I had to stay healthy, and make sure I stayed low risk.  I passed my gestational diabetes test with flying colors, gained the same amount of weight that I gained with Silver, measured right on track each week, and at the end of my pregnancy, Treb was head down and facing the best direction.  We were set up for complete success.  And if we hadn't been, the plans might have changed.  We have/had no problem seeking help for things outside of the realm of "normal" which is how/why we ended up at the hospital for 8 days (more on that later).  Safety isn't optional, nor will it ever be.

I went into early labor on the evening of Monday, November 2, but was in complete denial (I went into labor with Silver in the middle of the night, so it had to be the same again, right?!  ;).  We had dinner plans at Pie 5 with our best friends!  I wasn't gonna miss out on that.  ;)  Went to bed that evening (after giving the midwives and birth photographer a heads up something might be happening) and I was up a good chunk of the night with some pretty serious contractions.  Around 4 am I told T.J. he probably shouldn't go to the gym because I couldn't rest through the contractions anymore.  Around 5:30 I texted our birth team because contractions were five minutes apart and my bloody show was happening.  They all arrived around 6:30 that morning, and Silver left to spend the day with grandma.

I love this image that Sara captured - a little piece of my mama was there with me, and, "there's no place like home," just perfect :) 

During labor my vitals were monitored to make sure Treb and I were both safe and healthy.

We had a beautiful labor and everything was exactly as I wanted - quiet music (a mix of Iron and Wine and the Piano Brothers on Pandora), natural light, time spent outdoors (the weather was amazing), protein pancakes and labor-aid to drink, essential oils diffusing, all while surrounded by the most wonderful support team - everything was perfect.    

Working through some contractions and trying to get Treb to come down...

 

T.J. and Kristen were wonderful supports to me!

This picture is one of my favorites - T.J. did not leave my side while I was in the shower, staying close by to give me my labor aid / smart water.

Around 10am I was fully dilated and rested for a bit.  Just like with Silver, my water did not break until I was pushing, and the fluid got all over my poor, sweet Susan.  Just like it got the nurse with Silver...!  And look, she's still smiling ;)

Working hard here - Treble is almost earthside!!!

Funny note: At one point I was like Susan, whatever you're doing, that's hurting me!  And she was like, "I'm not doing anything - that's his head!"  Ha!  ;)

Everything was on track until Treb's head came out, and this is where our trouble began - the rest of his body did not follow.  He had shoulder dystocia, meaning his shoulder was stuck on my pelvic bone.  This friends, was just random bad luck.  It could have happened anywhere, it could have happened to anyone.  There was a .6-1.4% chance of this occurring in babies from 5 pounds to 8 pounds, 13 ounces.  And then the risk goes up to around 5 to 9% for babies up to 9 pounds, 14 ounces (This was a great article for me - here, from the AAFP).

While shoulder dystocia can be more "expected" in certain situations, let it known we did not have any of the risks found here.

A pregnant woman may be at risk for shoulder dystocia if:

• Her baby is very large. (But in most cases of shoulder dystocia, the baby's weight is normal. And for most very large babies, shoulder dystocia doesn't occur.)
• She has diabetes.
• She is pregnant with more than one baby.
• She is obese.
• She gives birth after the baby's due date.  (I was exactly 40 weeks, to the day)
• She had a very large baby or a shoulder dystocia in the past.
• Her labor is induced.
• She gets an epidural to help with pain during labor. An epidural is pain medicine you get through a tube in your lower back that helps number your lower body during labor. 
• She has an operative vaginal birth. This means that her provider uses tools, like forceps or a vacuum, to help the baby through the birth canal. 

I did not have any of those risks/things, it is something that just happened.  Something that unfortunately happened and of which I am still processing.

While Treb was "stuck" I had to rotate and move into several different positions until my birth team was able to get him dislodged (on hands and knees).  And in those moments, I am so grateful I was in my bed, with my team.  Because if I had been in a tiny hospital bed, I couldn't have maneuvered as quickly.  And if I had been hooked up to an epidural, I couldn't have maneuvered near as quickly (if at all?).  And if I hadn't had the very best team instructing me and helping us... I just don't know.  This was certainly a "time is of the essence" kind of situation.  

Also, for the record, in case you are wondering, because I did - if I had been at the hospital, the odds of me ending up in a c-section once Treble's head was out, while possible, would not have been likely, as it is extremely high risk and he could have died or been severely injured.  

The moments that followed are likely as they would have gone down in the hospital.

When Treb arrived earthside (4.5 minutes later at 11:05am - not much longer than it might have been had he not been "stuck"), he wasn't breathing.  He was still attached to the umbilical cord, but was not receiving full oxygen on his own.  He was blue.  It was scary and awful, as I'm sure you can imagine.  But, before he was even out, my midwife had ordered for an ambulance to be called, just in case, because she is a responsible, knowledgeable, wonderful woman of action.  Treb was given CPR, bagged, and put on oxygen, because my team was prepared with everything (and fully trained), "just in case" (I was also put on oxygen at one point - see pictures).  

Treble began to breathe on his own before the paramedics arrived and he was taken to the hospital, to be checked out and observed.  At the hospital we were originally given the "okay" that he was fine and all was well, but then another one of the doctors thought Treb was possibly having a seizure, because he was smacking his lips (this, we now know, is something he occasionally does when he is hungry and more than ready to be latched on), but, that is another story entirely, to be told on another day.

So.  There you have it.  We had our sweet little guy at home, with a team of certified, knowledgeable, responsible women.  And decided to share this because we didn't want to give homebirth a bad rap - we just had a bit of a hiccup with some unfortunate luck.  If you have a team of qualified people and are low risk, it is a great option.  If we were to have another child, we would likely do it at home again.  It is the safest choice for us, because we trust our birth team and know we would be transferred should the situation require it.

"We have a secret in our culture... and it’s not that birth is painful.  It’s that women are strong."
-Laura Stavoe Harm    

SILVER CAN PUT HERSELF TO SLEEP!

Alright, alright.  I know it's probably not too impressive since she's now over a year old.  But for this sleep deprived mama, this is BIG news.  Huge.  Silver has hated sleep from the get-go.  I mean, really just despised the whole sleeping process.  She wails while I rock her because she knows I'm trying to get her to go to sleep.  She'll wail in her crib once I've put her down.

Tuesday, July 12 marks the start of something new and amazing (it's been a full week since then so I feel like it's maybe "safe" to say that and I'm hopefully not jinxing myself :)

We did our usual nighttime routine of Mr. T rocking Silver to sleep, and then she did her all too usual, no, I'm not going to stay asleep once the rocking stops and I'm out of your arms - which is incredibly frustrating to say the very least.  So then I think I gave it a go, and T.J. maybe gave it another go.  And then we decided, this is just ridiculous. She's obviously tired.  Why does she have to fight so hard?  Let's just see what she does.  And so the crying began.  I just kept staring at the monitor and willing Silver to sleep.  Longest five minutes that ever was.  But she fell asleep.  On her own.

This is how she fell asleep
She's on the right side with her hiney up in the air.  :)

Later that night after she woke up, shortly after I had just nursed her and gotten her back down, my sleep deprivation decided we really needed to get this figured out.  So, instead of picking her back up, I grabbed my pillow and a blanket, made her lay back down and I laid down right next to her crib on the floor.  Oh, I think she cried for probably fifteen minutes.  It was terrible.  But I was right there and I knew she was okay and I had just nursed her right before this.  So I talked to her and kept tapping the mattress with my hand through the bars, trying to get her to lay down (because at this point she was standing back up holding the bars as if her crib was her own personal jail cell and she had been terribly wronged).  Crying on and off, she eventually settled down and then fell asleep while staring at me.

And I think that's what did it.

Silver learned how to fall asleep without being rocked, held, or having her back rubbed.

Each night this week, during a couple of her nightly wakeups she has managed to put herself back to sleep after just a minute of unhappy noises.  I'll be getting ready to head down the hall, when she stops.  Bliss.

And, just before I started typing this Silver woke up from her all too short 35 minute nap for just a minute and went back to sleep not even crying.  I just heard some little noises on the monitor and thought, ugh, worst napper ever, and of course there she was, standing.  But as I watched she sat back down, rolled onto her tummy and BAM!  Back out.  Amazing, it was.

THINGS ARE LOOKING UP.  This mama is going to be bragging about a full night of sleep SOON.  :)  Okay, maybe not bragging.  I know she is a year old and some babies are doing this at like, I don't know, 3 months or something crazy awesome like that.  But everyone's different and that just hasn't been us.  And I just don't believe in the shutting the door and not going back in there till morning business.  Or even really crying it out.  Which is why it has been so hard for us and I'm sure some moms think I'm just crazy for not having done that this late in the game.  But... we're getting things figured out in our own time.  :)

Deep Stuff - Our Labial Adhesion Story

So, this is something I haven't talked about yet but I feel like needs to be told because it's something I had never heard about, yet from all the research and googling I have done I know it's not too uncommon of an occurrence.  And I hope Silver will forgive me for sharing her story with the world.

When the PA was taking a look at Silver's lady parts at her 9 month checkup she made a discovery: Silver had a Labial Adhesion.

A what?

An adhesion on her vagina, which means that the inner lips of her vagina — her labia minora — had become stuck together with a clear-ish like membrane that seemed like should just separate, yet was fused together.

Now you want to talk about freaking a mama out, this totally did it for me.  Not to mention that at this appointment the PA had also discovered that Silver had her first and only ear infection.  Completely freak me out, worst doctor's appointment ever.

The PA prescribed us a hormone cream, Premarin, which I of course had plenty of questions about.  A hormone cream?  Really?  Is that safe?  Yes, the PA assured me, it's perfectly safe and better than the alternative - if the cream doesn't get the adhesion to open, when Silver gets older she will have to have it surgically separated.

So I take the PA's info for what it's worth, nodding at all the right times while thinking through my shock, oh my gosh I've gotta get home and start researching this.

And what exactly is Premarin?  Well, to put it simply it's:
PREgnant MARes' urINe

Hmm, the hormones of a horse soaked into the human body... That combined with that it's not approved to be used on children, it's for menopausal women, yeah, where can I get some?  Let's slather my daughter up with some of that, ASAP.

And, further to boot, "Parents should be aware that some girls, and even infants, will experience a small amount of breast development during treatment with topical estrogen cream because the hormone can be absorbed into the blood stream.  If this happens, consult your practitioner.  It may be reassuring to know that the breast tissue usually goes away once the estrogen treatment is stopped."

After learning more about labial adhesions, I found out that as long as the adhesion does not cover her urethra opening or she doesn't have a UTI, it's not dangerous, and that girls will eventually start to create their own horomones around 8-12 years old and that will cause the adhesion to go away on its own.

But, in the meantime, I also read that if the adhesion is severe enough, urine can get backed up in there causing the UTIs, and even making potty training difficult because the urine can dribble out long after the child has finished pottying.  That would be devastating for a child.

Oh my goodness.  So began the search for a natural remedy.  I couldn't imagine having bladder control problems all the way up to possibly 8+ years old.  That would just be terrible.  I wanted the adhesion gone, but no way in heck were we going to use the cream.

I found two great conversation threads on Mothering.com and BabyCenter.com.

I decided to first try Calendula cream.  I applied it a couple of times, but then Silver started teething so I decided to take a break and not put her or her body under any more stress.  I backed off for a month or so.

And then Silver started to crawl!  YAY!  And I get my first period post Silver.  There's just lots going on!  :)  I'm distracted from her problem and actually manage to put it aside for a little bit.  Finally I decide we need to get back to using the cream and take a look.  And, oh my gosh.  The adhesion had started to open.  ON ITS OWN.

A couple days later I look again, and it's GONE.

What can this be attributed to?  Was it that Silver started crawling and all the wiggling helped open it up?  Maybe.  Or maybe it was that my hormones had changed when I had my first period and I'm still breastfeeding, so those got passed onto her...  That's what I think it was.  I read this from a midwife on one of the conversation threads I shared and it makes sense to me:

"Hormones are in your breastmilk and reach your babies. Baby girls are often 'closed' and it is normal for breastfed baby girls. Like a couple pp's said, when their dd's turned 8 yo or so, it went away. Again, normal, because the girls have hit pre-puberty and make their own hormones. Adult doctors in Western medicine seem to think infant girls are supposed to be 'open' like adult women are, and that is just not true."

If the adhesion hadn't gone away on its own, we would have proceeded with the Calendula.  If that didn't work we would have moved to flax oil which is a little more aggressive.  But, flax oil works because it is a phytoestrogen - which means it exerts hormonal effects.

Praise God it went away on its own!  At our one year appointment the PA was surprised to hear it went away on its own without the use of the cream... :)

Black Bean Brownies - No, really, they're GOOD!

While they sound completely random and probably a bit unappetizing, I gave this one a go and they were GOOD!  I found the recipe on DiseaseProof.com and tweaked it just a bit.

Black Bean Brownies

2 cups pitted dates, chopped (I maybe used a bit more than this - added until I thought the batter tasted right)

1 ¼ cup unsweetened applesauce

1 (15 oz.) can of salt-free black beans, drained and rinsed

¾ cup whole wheat flour (I used spelt flour)

½ cup dark cocoa powder (I used cacao powder)
1 large handful of sunflower seeds or 1 T. ground flaxseed
2 t. vanilla
1 t. baking soda

I also added in a ¼ cup finely shredded coconut just 'cause I had it.  Next time, I might put a banana in there, I was just unfortunately out.

Put the first six ingredients in a food processor. Turn it on and then gradually add the 2 cups of chopped dates, a few at a time until blended. Add the flour and continue to mix until everything is well blended.  Spread into a 13” x 9” pan. Bake at 350 degrees for 20-25 minutes.

I put them in a muffin pan instead because I'd like to freeze some to pull out when I'm short on prepared food for the munchkin.  :)

And confession... I haven't been offering Silver as much of these as I have been eating myself.  As a tired, nursin' mama, I gotta have my chocolate fix.  :)





P.S. I meant to buy carob powder instead of the cacao.  After I used it I realized it wasn't what I thought it was... haha.  The joys of learning new cooking things.  I have never used either of them, but found the differences between the two to be pretty interesting.  I think we will be going with carob in the future because it's a "safer" choice.  It's broken down really well on KHolistic Nutrition.

Hip Mountain Mama Review - Imagine Tee

I received my first item from Hip Mountain Mama and I L-O-V-E, love it!  It is the awesome Imagine Tee and it's super cute and comfy too.

I first off gotta say that it runs small, so order up a size.  A small is 4-6, medium is 8-10, and large is 12-14.  I was originally going to go with a small because I'm a size 4 (at Old Navy), but I decided to go with a medium to play it safe.  It was still a bit too snug for my comfort.  I sent it back for another, which was no problem at all because the folks at Hip Mountain Mama totally and completely rock!  :)  I probably could have gone with the medium but feel much more comfortable in this one.

The shirt is really long, which I love.  And while it's not super low cut, nursin' mamas, I was able to nurse by just pulling the top down, which made things very easy for me.

I kinda feel like a goob posing, but ya gotta see the whole shirt, right?  :)

The detail in the design is a-mazing.  It's really pretty cool.  Here's a closeup:

The Imagine Tee is also super soft, as it's cotton, and is great for summer because it's lightweight.  But it's not too thin that it won't last - it's just comfy goodness.

Added bonus:
When you buy the shirt, some of the profits go back to Oceana, Sea Shepherd, Trees For The Future, and Environmental Defense Fund, which I thought was very cool.

Thank you, Hip Mountain Mama, I'm loving my new Imagine Tee!  :)

Side note:
I did everything I could to have "Imagine" by the Beatles playing... How perfect would that have been?!  But I just couldn't figure it out... :(

1st Birthday Extravaganza - It was A HOOT!

I can't believe Silver's birthday has come and gone.  It's just ridiculous. We did it up right though!  And I probably even overdid it quite a bit too.  :)  It was an OWL theme!

We had a playdate birthday party with all of Silver's baby friends, and more importantly my mommy friends :) and then also a family birthday party with a few friends.

We had owl cupcakes, owl sandwiches, owl graham cracker treats, and a sucker tree to eat.

I made Silver's outfit match the invites I crafted.  It was my most favorite crafting project ever, besides the making of Silver's room. I loved, loved, loved it.  Crafting makes me the happiest.  It really was a hoot.  :)