The Birth of Treble Kei Abla - 11.3.15

I haven't written anything in a long time...  When my mom died, I guess this blog did too.  But, maybe it might make a comeback, because come to find out, the writing of things is good for my soul.

As of yesterday I have a three month old.  'Bout time I told his birth story (and get his newborn photos posted...).  Some of you knew we were planning a home birth.  The majority of you might have thought we were crazy and then when it hit the fan and we ended up at the hospital might have thought something along the lines of, "I just knew they shouldn't have done a hippie home birth..."  But not so.  For those of you who want to know what went down, this is our story. 

So, here we go, complete with a couple of pictures, some of which {all of which} I look gigantic in ;)  They are beautiful, and were done by the oh-so-fabulous Sara Dragman, whom I cannot praise highly enough.  

If you're still reading, yes, Treble was born at home.  All 9 pounds, 12 ounces of him.  

As soon as we found out we were pregnant we knew we wanted a home birth.  My labor with Silver was calm and perfect until I was ready to push, then we left our house and things just got crazy at the hospital.  I was out of my comfort zone, the on call doctor was mean, and so then my body shut down for quite a bit.  With Treb, we knew we wanted to be at home for the entire birth process, and I knew immediately who I wanted my midwife to be.  I had met her years before, when I did my doula training, and had a professional "crush" on her, if you will.  She was so knowledgable about all things birth, so calm and quick thinking, had all kinds of certifications and had midwifed at hundreds of births across the world... I wanted her knowledge.  I wanted her calmness.  I wanted her quick thinking.  I wanted to be her someday...  We went ahead and "interviewed" Susan, but I already knew she was the one, because she is the absolute very best at what she does.

We of course did our research before deciding to birth at home.  As with any and all things health related we research, compare statistics and make informed choices.  Birth is normal.  Birth at home is normal.  And to us, birth is not a medical emergency (in low risk cases, as I was), but rather, birth is a natural, biological process.  We chose to birth at home for lots of reasons, including to avoid unnecessary complications and interventions.

We aren't commune living hippies (though I certainly wouldn't turn down the opportunity ;)  We are the Rhi-Jays you know and love, just everyday people who made an educated decision about the best way to birth our baby boy.  Certainly not right for everyone, but right for us.  

So we planned our birth at home.  Homebirth is not about just "winging" it and hoping for the best.  We didn't have someone waving around an incense stick and praying while wearing a tinfoil hat.  We had a highly educated, trained and certified, very experienced, and wonderful team in place - a doula, Kristen (who is actually midwife certified as well), an assistant midwife, Elizabeth, and my midwife, Susan.  All of which are the very best equipped people, whom I am grateful for every time I gaze upon my sweet boy's face.

During my pregnancy there was a ton of prep on prenatal health and nutrition - you cannot have a homebirth if you are high risk, so I had to stay healthy, and make sure I stayed low risk.  I passed my gestational diabetes test with flying colors, gained the same amount of weight that I gained with Silver, measured right on track each week, and at the end of my pregnancy, Treb was head down and facing the best direction.  We were set up for complete success.  And if we hadn't been, the plans might have changed.  We have/had no problem seeking help for things outside of the realm of "normal" which is how/why we ended up at the hospital for 8 days (more on that later).  Safety isn't optional, nor will it ever be.

I went into early labor on the evening of Monday, November 2, but was in complete denial (I went into labor with Silver in the middle of the night, so it had to be the same again, right?!  ;).  We had dinner plans at Pie 5 with our best friends!  I wasn't gonna miss out on that.  ;)  Went to bed that evening (after giving the midwives and birth photographer a heads up something might be happening) and I was up a good chunk of the night with some pretty serious contractions.  Around 4 am I told T.J. he probably shouldn't go to the gym because I couldn't rest through the contractions anymore.  Around 5:30 I texted our birth team because contractions were five minutes apart and my bloody show was happening.  They all arrived around 6:30 that morning, and Silver left to spend the day with grandma.

I love this image that Sara captured - a little piece of my mama was there with me, and, "there's no place like home," just perfect :) 

During labor my vitals were monitored to make sure Treb and I were both safe and healthy.

We had a beautiful labor and everything was exactly as I wanted - quiet music (a mix of Iron and Wine and the Piano Brothers on Pandora), natural light, time spent outdoors (the weather was amazing), protein pancakes and labor-aid to drink, essential oils diffusing, all while surrounded by the most wonderful support team - everything was perfect.    

Working through some contractions and trying to get Treb to come down...

 

T.J. and Kristen were wonderful supports to me!

This picture is one of my favorites - T.J. did not leave my side while I was in the shower, staying close by to give me my labor aid / smart water.

Around 10am I was fully dilated and rested for a bit.  Just like with Silver, my water did not break until I was pushing, and the fluid got all over my poor, sweet Susan.  Just like it got the nurse with Silver...!  And look, she's still smiling ;)

Working hard here - Treble is almost earthside!!!

Funny note: At one point I was like Susan, whatever you're doing, that's hurting me!  And she was like, "I'm not doing anything - that's his head!"  Ha!  ;)

Everything was on track until Treb's head came out, and this is where our trouble began - the rest of his body did not follow.  He had shoulder dystocia, meaning his shoulder was stuck on my pelvic bone.  This friends, was just random bad luck.  It could have happened anywhere, it could have happened to anyone.  There was a .6-1.4% chance of this occurring in babies from 5 pounds to 8 pounds, 13 ounces.  And then the risk goes up to around 5 to 9% for babies up to 9 pounds, 14 ounces (This was a great article for me - here, from the AAFP).

While shoulder dystocia can be more "expected" in certain situations, let it known we did not have any of the risks found here.

A pregnant woman may be at risk for shoulder dystocia if:

• Her baby is very large. (But in most cases of shoulder dystocia, the baby's weight is normal. And for most very large babies, shoulder dystocia doesn't occur.)
• She has diabetes.
• She is pregnant with more than one baby.
• She is obese.
• She gives birth after the baby's due date.  (I was exactly 40 weeks, to the day)
• She had a very large baby or a shoulder dystocia in the past.
• Her labor is induced.
• She gets an epidural to help with pain during labor. An epidural is pain medicine you get through a tube in your lower back that helps number your lower body during labor. 
• She has an operative vaginal birth. This means that her provider uses tools, like forceps or a vacuum, to help the baby through the birth canal. 

I did not have any of those risks/things, it is something that just happened.  Something that unfortunately happened and of which I am still processing.

While Treb was "stuck" I had to rotate and move into several different positions until my birth team was able to get him dislodged (on hands and knees).  And in those moments, I am so grateful I was in my bed, with my team.  Because if I had been in a tiny hospital bed, I couldn't have maneuvered as quickly.  And if I had been hooked up to an epidural, I couldn't have maneuvered near as quickly (if at all?).  And if I hadn't had the very best team instructing me and helping us... I just don't know.  This was certainly a "time is of the essence" kind of situation.  

Also, for the record, in case you are wondering, because I did - if I had been at the hospital, the odds of me ending up in a c-section once Treble's head was out, while possible, would not have been likely, as it is extremely high risk and he could have died or been severely injured.  

The moments that followed are likely as they would have gone down in the hospital.

When Treb arrived earthside (4.5 minutes later at 11:05am - not much longer than it might have been had he not been "stuck"), he wasn't breathing.  He was still attached to the umbilical cord, but was not receiving full oxygen on his own.  He was blue.  It was scary and awful, as I'm sure you can imagine.  But, before he was even out, my midwife had ordered for an ambulance to be called, just in case, because she is a responsible, knowledgeable, wonderful woman of action.  Treb was given CPR, bagged, and put on oxygen, because my team was prepared with everything (and fully trained), "just in case" (I was also put on oxygen at one point - see pictures).  

Treble began to breathe on his own before the paramedics arrived and he was taken to the hospital, to be checked out and observed.  At the hospital we were originally given the "okay" that he was fine and all was well, but then another one of the doctors thought Treb was possibly having a seizure, because he was smacking his lips (this, we now know, is something he occasionally does when he is hungry and more than ready to be latched on), but, that is another story entirely, to be told on another day.

So.  There you have it.  We had our sweet little guy at home, with a team of certified, knowledgeable, responsible women.  And decided to share this because we didn't want to give homebirth a bad rap - we just had a bit of a hiccup with some unfortunate luck.  If you have a team of qualified people and are low risk, it is a great option.  If we were to have another child, we would likely do it at home again.  It is the safest choice for us, because we trust our birth team and know we would be transferred should the situation require it.

"We have a secret in our culture... and it’s not that birth is painful.  It’s that women are strong."
-Laura Stavoe Harm    

July 4th, 2010 - Silver's Birth Story

People used to look at me like I was crazy when I told them the plan was to have a natural, drug free childbirth. That, or they would just kind of small and nod, as if to say, "yeah, okay... we'll see how that turns out." But, I was determined to have it be so!  My mom did it naturally with my brother and me and I knew I was capable of doing it as well.  After all, people have been doing it for hundreds of years!  Pain is relative and I never really dwelled on the thought of birth and simply believed it was a natural process that would just eventually play out.

As our due date approached, however, anxiety began to mount. When I was about 8 months along, we watched the documentary 'The Business of Being Born.' The film reveals that 'there is much to distrust behind hospital doors... Should most births should be viewed as a natural life process, or should every delivery be treated as a potential medical emergency?'  I've never been one to like hospitals, or even doctors, whom I generally distrust for that matter, and this documentary pretty much made hospitals out to be the devil...

Welcome our search for a doula. A doula is a “trained and experienced professional who provides continuous physical, emotional and informational support to the mother before, during and just after birth.” Basically, their main focus is on you and your comfort - they work as your advocate, consultant, and coach throughout the entire birth process.

We were referred to the company Birth Matters from a friend.  There we learned about all of the support a doula could provide, decided it was exactly what we needed, and met with doula Joy Moore.  After our first interview with her, we knew she was the one!  We loved her!  But were our childbirth classes enough?  The ones that our doctor's office provided seemed too extremely basic.  As in, they expected you to get the epidural (what 90% of women do), or end up with a c-section, and that's just how it would be.  We didn't even really do any pain management techniques!  After talking to Joy, we decided we would take a second round of childbirth classes at Birth Matters.  After all, knowledge is power.  That's when we met Chris Cleary, the owner.  She was incredible!  We learned a million times more than we had in our previous classes and felt so much more in control of the situation.  Our resolves were strengthened with further knowledge of why we wanted to have and should have a natural childbirth.  We were ready.  

And then our due date came and went...

Ten days post due, on July 4, 2010, I woke up with contractions at about three o'clock in the morning.  I wasn't sure if they were real, "go time", contractions or not, so I decided to wait a little bit before waking up T.J. We were supposed to go help with a Fourth of July cookout that afternoon at church, but God had something else planned for us!  I got our childbirth book out and re-read about the early signs of labor and at about three thirty, I decided that yes, it was time to wake up T.J.  This was it!  We had been waiting and waiting (Silver's due date was June 24), and it was finally go time!

We waited through some more contractions and eventually started timing them.  At 3:48 in the morning we decided it really was for sure "go time" so we called our doula, Joy (we didn't want to wake her so early if it was false or very early labor!)

T.J. started cleaning the house up a bit and making sure our hospital bags were ready to go while I took and shower and waited through some more contractions.  Then T.J. posted on Facebook, "I have a feeling that I will really get to know the movie "Born on the 4th of July" pretty well over time. Rhiannon woke me up 20 min ago and put the iPhone in my hand to start officially measuring contractions."

-Sunday at 3:57am via Facebook for iPhone

At 4:22 in the morning, my mom called T.J.  I thought she must have had ESP!  She couldn't sleep and had gotten on Facebook and seen T.J.'s post.  She wanted to know what the plan was, but I told her it would be a long time before Silver would get here and she should try to get some more sleep. Yeah, right!  She was way too excited.  She said to just keep her updated on what was going on and to let her know when we were going to the hospital.

At 5:20, Joy arrived at our house to help us. We timed some contractions and knew that we had a while to wait, so she suggested we watch a movie.  I picked the Goonies because it's so funny and our copy was new and needed to be seen!  :)  We watched the movie and I walked through some contractions and also used a birth ball to help get through some of the contractions. After the movie was over, the contractions started getting really strong. We were going to put on another movie, Willy Wonka (apparently I was in need of some feel good, happy, kid movies!), but by then, the contractions were so intense, we just worked through them in silence.  T.J. and Joy were so incredibly awesome!  Joy helped T.J. to be the best birth coach on the planet!  They had such a great system down.  My lower back was where I was feeling all of the labor, so they took turns putting pressure on it to make it feel better.  Joy suggested different positions to try.  I spent most of my time in the living room leaning against the wall or against the couch with their hands on my back.  It made such a huge difference; the pain was much more bearable.  They would switch every once in a while because I'm sure their hands got tired.  They both kept telling me what a great job I was doing, and I was starting to wonder if I could go all the way without any pain medicine because it was getting to be pretty difficult.  I could definitely see why people would opt for the epidural.  I had no idea how dilated I was or how much further I had to go... What if I was only at a 3?!

Around 9:15 am, we wondered if it was finally time to go to the hospital. My contractions were close together and getting stronger.  I didn't know for sure if we should go yet or not because we wanted to spend as little time as possible at the hospital, but I was also getting a little anxious because I was starting to feel like I wanted to push...  So, we packed up and hit the road!

We made it to the hospital and got checked in (thank goodness we had pre-admitted because by this point I could hardly talk and was bent over the counter while the admin nurse foolishly asked why we were there...). We got to triage where the nurses tried to see how dilated I was but 'couldn't be sure' so they went to get another nurse, Nikki.  She came in and examined me and said, "Yeah, she's about a nine or ten!"  I couldn't believe it! I sighed, "God is good!" I had made it through the hardest part (transition) while being at home which is exactly what we had hoped to do!  It was wonderful!  And such a relief.  It was just too good to be true.  I really believe that God won't give you more than you can handle.

We still had a little ways to go though, so I rested and labored some more while on a birth ball at the hospital. T.J. was so wonderful - he really was the best birth coach that ever was.  He fed me ice chips, held a fan to my face to keep me cool, and kept telling me what a great job I was doing.  After getting some rest, it was finally time to start pushing.

T.J. went out into the hall for a second to update our moms that everything was going well.  While he was out there he heard a popping noise and heard me say I was sorry.  He thought I knocked something over. But, no!  My water had broken while I was pushing!  And, it accidentally got all over poor nurse Nikki... Oh my gosh, I felt terrible!  But she was actually excited because it meant we had made some great progress!  That's someone who really loves what they do.  :)

I pushed and pushed while T.J. kept counting to ten over and over again.  That wasn't in our birth plan, but the on-call doctor was trying to rush us (more on that later).  After a little while, Nurse Nikki said that she could see some hair! Oh my gosh!  T.J. and I were both bald when we were born.  I couldn't believe it.  Silver was almost here... and she had hair!  Nikki asked me if I wanted a mirror and I said, yes, thank you.  I do!  That wasn't part of our original birth plan either, but I wanted to see her hair too.  I was glad we got the mirror because it really helped me know how much further I had to go.

And then after a bit more pushing, at 1:25 pm, she was here!  Silver Elizabeth weighed in at 8 pounds, 2 ounces.  Such a healthy girl!  And she was 19 1/4 inches long.

Labor is love... Looking back on everything I know we were so incredibly blessed to have such a healthy pregnancy and delivery.  And I so love and appreciate that Silver's birth was drug and intervention free, exactly how we desired it to be. Was it difficult?  Yes!  Did it hurt?  Of course!  But I would certainly do it all over again.  Thank you God!!!

Back to the on-call doctor... Well, we will definitely be going with a midwife next time.  The doctor was absolutely terrible, and I am so glad we had nurse Nikki there with us.  She was incredible and very much supported our desire to have a natural birth, whereas the doctor just didn't seem to have the patience for it, or the fact that I wasn't laying still in bed with the heart monitor on Silver.  The good news is, after he came in and was incredibly rude to Joy and tried scaring us into getting the process to move along more quickly, Nikki, who did not like the doctor either, did not call him back in until Silver's head was pretty much out!  Which was great, because he really caused some unneeded stress.  Rest assured that I handled it in typical Rhiannon style and wrote a formal letter of complaint to all the doctors in his practice.